I feel like Jenna Marbles ranting about ‘white girls at the club’ or ‘people that piss me off at the gym’, but last night I had a completely unnecessary club experience. No means no, bro.
I don’t go to the club to get uncorked and porked. I go there to dance, with a girl that I used to work with; we never see each other since I quit working at that Godforsaken place. Anyway! How many guys approach us, I don’t know but I’m sick of it. Considering making ‘Team SOLO DOLO' t shirts.
On one occasion, a guy was walking behind me and put his hand on my back leading me through the crowd while repeating, ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry..” OK? Later, I see him and try at all costs to avoid him by gesturing for HIM to walk in front of ME. He just stood there, so I blatantly leaned against the bar until he walked in front of me, but AS HE WAS WALKING BY HE GRABBED MY ARM. ‘All right, shake it off’, I had repeated for myself. Turned away from where he was approaching me, he walked by and touched my butt. Done. “WOOAH! NO, NO, NO! STOP TOUCHING ME; STAY AWAY FROM ME FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!" Couldn’t hold it in any longer..
Some other creep comes up to me with this sob story about his friend hasn’t danced with anyone but their other friend’s girlfriend. Kay. “So I was wondering, will you dance with him?”, sad puppy dog eyes or some bull. “No thank you.” ,and I even smiled at this ginger. “But.. ” attempt, failed. “No thank you.” He looks to Crystal, my club rat, and tells her that his friend actually wants to dance with her. She replies, “No thank you.” All right bro, walk away now.. say ‘enjoy your night’ and walk away. But he is persistent to say the least. “He would really like to..” Crystal interrupts him to say that she’s engaged. Lie. When all else fails, try to disgust them right? “I have herpes.” I even said it with a straight face. Where’d that come from? Doesn’t matter, because it didn’t work. “I’m not asking for sex; I’m just asking to dance.” Oh my gosh.. GET THE HINT. “AND WE’RE SAYING NO.” Bro, we are laughing at you, walk away.. he raised his eyebrows, turned on his heels, and walked away. Finally.
I have heard it all, and I still prefer to dance alone. Human interaction doesn’t interest me. Being a stage five clinger isn’t helping your case.